In twelve hours we're getting on a plane to foreign parts. We won't be back for a couple of weeks and I'm not going to do anything email-y or blog-y or twitter-y and not even much phone-y. I won't even be using my usual mobile number. It's an old school, retro kinda trip. The kind you send postcards.

If you're going to have any parties while I'm gone, please clean up the mess before I get back.

Have a great Easter break!

Handmade Helps Out is a group of crafty types who have joined forces to make raising money for the Red Cross and Wildlife Victoria more effective. Heaps of craft item sales and auctions are listed on the site with proceeds going to bushfire victims, as well as other ways crafty people can help out.

Have a look through the items, perhaps something will catch your eye. Think about the birthday and other gifts you will want to give this year.

My own felt hanging auction is still open until tomorrow evening, you can bid on it here. In addition to donating the entire proceeds to the Red Cross, I will donate an equal amount to Wildlife Victoria.

I have just returned from a couple of hours at the RRR studios in Melbourne this morning sorting some of the toiletries that are being donated so generously by RRR listeners.

When I arrived there were a couple of trestle tables in the perfomance space with donations already over and underneath them. By the time I left the room was like a warehouse and donations are still pouring in.

If you're able to drop items off this afternoon, there is a need for NEW underwear.

Other needed items are nappies, baby wipes, pads (including incontinance and maternity pads), tampons, toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, soap. Clothing and food donations are not being accepted as part of this drive and additionally, all items must be new and unopened.

More information here: RRR Toiletries Drive Wednesday 11 February

Well done and thank you to Clem Bastow who is coordinating the drive and arranging a convoy of vehicles to carry the goods which will leave for affected areas tomorrow.

This felt wall hanging is being auctioned to raise funds for the victims of the horrendous Victorian bushfires of February 2009.

Bidding is open as of now and the auction will close at 10:00 pm Eastern Daylight Time Sunday 15th February 2009.

The entirety of winning bid will be donated to the Red Cross Victorian Bushfires 2009 Appeal. A copy of the receipt as proof of donation will be sent to the winning bidder.

The hanging will be posted free of charge to the winning bidder if within Australia or at cost to overseas locations.

TITLE: "The dark forest moon rising in the last misty evening before the living shroud walks. With cobwebs." Felt Wall Hanging.

MEDIA: Merino and Leicester wool, silk threads and fabric, soy fibres. Cotton backing.

DESCRIPTION: A wall hanging handmade using a wet felt method. Wet felting involves the agitation of raw fibres using soap and water until they bind together into a single piece of fabric. Other than the cotton backing, no sewing or glues were used in the formation of this panel. Due to its somewhat random and unpredictable nature, wet felting results in entirely unique pieces.
This panel shows a gnarled tree with a full moon rising behind. The white foreground 'cobweb' hangs free, giving extra dimension to the work. Silk threads (some of it reclaimed sari fibres) give a sheen and a hint of colour. See here for more detailed images.
The panel measures 40cm (15.5 inches) wide and 38cm (15 inches) high. A pocket in the back allows insertion of a rod (dowel or stick) for hanging, as seen in the photo. For ease of delivery a hanging rod is not included, however coordinating yarn will be, if you wish to copy the hanging method shown. Alternatively the panel could be framed by someone familiar with textile arts.

MINIMUM BID: $5

HOW TO BID: Simply leave a comment on this post with the amount of your bid. Be sure to check back often as you may be outbid, especially towards the end of the week.

You must leave a valid email address when you post your comment so you can be contacted if you win. I solemnly swear not to use any email address for nefarious purposes or pass them onto third parties.

If you have any questions regarding the auction item or the auction process please email me: rachel AT mechanicalcat DOT net.

Thank you and happy bidding!

THIS AUCTION IS NOW CLOSED. THANK YOU TO ALL THE BIDDERS!

There are now 84 confirmed dead in the bushfires that continue to burn across the state of Victoria tonight. Hundreds of homes have been lost, and hundreds of thousands of hectares of beautiful bushland and farmland destroyed.

It's almost impossible to comprehend. I'm sitting not a 45 minute drive from the devastated Kinglake area, yet I can't even smell the smoke.

Here's what I'm going to do:
Make a donation to the Red Cross Victorian Bushfires 2009 Appeal
Donate blood within the next couple of days.
And I'm going to offer up a felt piece originally made for a different charity auction (it was not bid on at the time).

In the next post I will call for bids for the hanging and the high bidder at the time the auction closes gets the goods and the entirety of their winning bid will be donated to the Red Cross Appeal. I'll even cover the postage.

So please spread the word, and look out for more details in the next post.

My story The Girl in the Cupboard has been published at ticon4. It's free. It's not too long. It's not too scary. Did I mention it was free?

I'd really like to know what you think of it, so please leave a comment over there for Russell (wonder-editor) to read, or here if you just want to say Happy Birthday ;-)

I'm sorry, that was a horrible way to die. Flattened with no warning and no chance to say farewell to your loved ones. I hope it was painless and quick for you, squashed under the tape dispenser. I will always remember that you were large and had a white tail.

Blogging about my favourite toy over on the craft blog. It's totally valid. Lego is a medium for art.

Brickvention - Melbourne - this Sunday. See you there!

I am trying to write a brief bio to accompany a short story publication. I think it must be the hardest thing in the world.

Despite a horrendous cold which is leaving me sleepless, achey and blocked, there are several things which are making me happy today.

• The Atheist Bus Campaign
• Totally clean loungeroom. I may never let anyone in it again. Or perhaps I could put newspaper on the floor. If I had any.
• Freshly baked bread from the bread machine.
• Sooooup for dinner tonight.
• The idea I had at 3.30 this morning that continues to not suck.
• Browsing vintage bags on Etsy.

In 2009 I will

• Co-run Continuum 5. It will be great. It will be in August. Expect to hear a lot more about it on this blog and elsewhere.
• Read more fiction. Even if I have begun with a William Shatner Star Trek novel. It's terrifically awful!
• Finish more of what I start. Does not apply to eating.
• Consume fewer food additives which I am hoping will help me to
• Be less grumpy.
• Blog more.
• Watch far less television. I was nearly going to vow not to watch any, but I really don't watch that much. I think I'm just going to cut out everything broadcast on commercial tv. Which I think was only So You Think You Can Dance and the Antiques Roadshow (it's one of Abbey's favourites, honest!) last year. And leaves just Spicks and Specks and the occasional Top Gear and Food Safari episodes. They won't kill me. Of course it still leaves television acquired by, um, other methods, but I'm going to be stricter about that too. No more completing series "just because". They have to be good!

So I'm looking forward to this year. Abbey goes to prep, which she is very excited about, and we're off on an overseas jaunt later in the year too. I hope you are all going to have a fantastic 2009. Pretty sure I am.
Happy New Year!

In 2008, I

• Won a bunch of competitions. Books; tickets to see Edward Scissorhands (the, I kid you not,"dance-ical". It was dreadful.); and best of all, a year's supply of cat food.
• Had my first paid publication, uh, published in Midnight Echo.
• Read 65 books. I was aiming to read my height in books, but fell 11.5 books short. This is how I established my book-height.
  The best one I read for the year would have to be Margo Lanagan's Tender Morsels. Amazing stuff. I heart it a lot. Close second would be The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. The best non-fic read in 2008 was What's Happening to Our Girls? by Maggie Hamilton. I was made nauseous by this book and had to put it down at regular intervals for some deep breathing. I don't think it's just because I have a young daughter either. It's just so different to my experiences 20 years ago.
• Watched 91 films. I was casually aiming for 100, but not bothered at all by not getting there. A lot of those 91 I had seen before, and saw repeatedly. Best of the year, Juno, followed closely by Sweeney Todd.
• Began reviewing episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Alisa at Shiny.
• Wrote no book reviews (for shame!).
• Began craft blogging at Cobalt and Cochineal. Hah! You didn't know that did you? Well, it's only new and I'm still figuring out what to put there. Apart from all the stuff I make and then give away but don't want to forget about.
• Was grumpy a lot.

Have spent my Xmas eve watching the horror film 1408, for what could be more festive than John Cusack? It started off OK, a couple of creepy moments, but then lost me completely about a third of the way through. Ridiculous rather than scary.

Anyway, have merry day tomorrow everyone. Remember to lock your doors from the inside and don't take candy from strangers.

Australian poet Dorothy Porter died in Melbourne this morning from complications due to cancer. She was 54.

The writer is best known for The Monkey's Mask, a crime thriller in verse about a lesbian detective that was published in 1994 and won the Age Poetry Book of the Year in the same year.

My thoughts go out to her family and friends.

Danny put this list together to make sure none of his friends were UnAustralian.*

1. Heard a kookaburra in person
2. Slept under the stars
3. Seen a koala.
4. Visited Melbourne. I live here!
5. Watched a summer thunderstorm
6. Worn a pair of thongs
7. Been to Uluru (Ayer's Rock) I climbed it years and years ago, before it was discouraged, but I wouldn't again. Love to walk around it though.
8. Visited Cape York
9. Held a snake. I'm sure I did this in primary school. Certainly patted one at least.
10. Sang along with Khe San. Only after a fair bit of #11
11. Drank VB. And I wouldn't do that again either.
12. Visited Sydney. It's overrated.
13. Have seen a shark. In an aquarium.
14. Have used Aussie slang naturally in a conversation. Bloody oath.
15. Had an actual conversation with an indigenous Australian (aboriginal)
16. Eaten hot chips from the bag at the beach. And deep fried pizza. Another thing not to try again.
17. Walked/climbed over the Sydney Harbour Bridge
18. Used an outside dunny, and checked under the seat before sitting down
19. Seen Chloe in Young & Jackson's.
20. Slept on an overnight train or bus. In Year 11 there was a school bus trip to Central Australia. We drove Melbourne to Mt Isa without stopping. And pretty much without sleeping.
21. Been to Sydney's Mardi Gras
22. Have gone bush-bashing. I've only ever walked and hiked on trails, I think.
23. Taken a sickie
24. Been to see a game of Aussie Rules football - the Community Cup; RRR vs PBS
25. Have seen wild camels
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Done a Tim Tam Slam
28. Ridden in a tram in Melbourne
29. Been at an ANZAC day Dawn Service
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Held a wombat
32. Been on a roadtrip of 800km or more. That bus trip accounts for a lot of this list.
33. Seen the Great Australian Bight in person. Well if I've been to Adelaide and looked at the water, that counts, right?
34. Had a really bad sunburn
35. Visited an aboriginal community
36. Seen a redback spider
37. Have watched Paul Hogan. Just Croc Dundee. Never again.
38. Seen Blue Poles in person
39. Wandered barefoot in the bush/outback
40. Eaten Vegemite
41. Thrown a boomerang. Badly.
42. Seen the Kimberleys
43. Given a hitch-hiker a lift
44. Been to Perth
45. Have tried Lemon, Lime and Bitters
46. Tried playing a didgeridoo
47. Seen dinosaur footprints. There are some in the Melbourne Museum. Is that cheating?
48. Eaten Tim Tams And Iced VoVos.
49. Been to Darwin
50. Touched a kangaroo. The ones at Healesville Sanctuary are friendly.
51. Visted the Great Barrier Reef
52. Listened to Kevin Bloody Wilson. Saw him interviewed on Enough Rope.
53. Killed a Cane Toad
54. Gone to a drive-in theatre. The very first movie I ever saw in my life was Grease at a drive-in with my parents. I was two or three and I hung out the window and banged on the car roof. I remember this quite clearly.
55. Have read and own books by Australian authors
56. Visited Adelaide
57. Know the story behind "Eternity"
58. Been camping
59. Visited Brisbane
60. Been in an outback pub
61. Know what the term "Waltzing Matilda" actually means
62. Gone whale watching
63. Listened to Slim Dusty. I'm sure I've heard Slim Dusty, but not on purpose.
64. Own five or more Australian movies or TV series. I had to go and check, and no! Only one! I'm very ashamed of this and will rectify it. Can you get The Cars that Ate Paris on DVD?
65. Sang along to Down Under
66. Have stopped specifically to look at an historic marker by the side of the road.
67. Eaten a 4'n'20 pie. From the school canteen.
68. Surfed at Bondi. Walked along the beach, but too cold to even paddle.
69. Watched the cricket on Boxing Day. Nor on any other day.
70. Visited Hobart. This is where the "My brother threw up in the back of the rental car" story begins...
71. Eaten kangaroo. I'm not a fan though.
72. Seen a quokka. But not in the wild.
73. Visited Canberra
74. Visited rainforests
75. Used a Victa lawnmower. Nor any other lawnmower. I'm perversely proud of this.
76. Travelled on a tram in Adelaide
77. Used a Hills hoist
78. Visited Kata Tjuta (the Olgas)
79. Used native Australian plants in cooking. Macadamias!
80. Visited the snow
81. Chosen a side in Holden VS Ford. Yeah, they're both crap.
82. Visited the desert
83. Been water skiing
84. Read The Phantom. And I listen to him every Friday night.
85. Visited Parliament House
86. Gone spotlighting or pig-shooting
87. Crossed the Nullarbor
88. Avoided swimming in areas because of crocodiles
89. Listened to AC/DC
90. Called someone a dag
91. Voted in a Federal Election
92. Have been swimming and stayed between the flags
93. Had a possum in your roof. And on my back.
94. Visited the outback
95. Travelled over corrugated roads. Lived on one growing up.
96. Hit a kangaroo while driving. Well, I was on a bus. We hit several.
97. Been well outside any mobile phone coverage. I remember when inside shopping centres was "outside" coverage.
98. Seen an emu.
99. Have woken to the smell of bushfires. Ash Wednesday.
    
    Additional:
    
100. Subscribed to RRR
101. Patted a pure-bred dingo
102. Seen the Oils live
103. Been rock climbing at Mt Arapiles. But I didn't go very high!

     *Not really.

I was tagged a couple of weeks ago. Yes, it has taken me this long to think of seven things. Actually I've only thought of two, but maybe by the time I get there something will happen.

1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. [I do not like this rule. I delete it.]
4. [this also is a dumb rule.]

One.
I like noodles. A lot. I eat some kind of pasta nearly every day. Noodlr speaks to me.

Two.
I will never be able to have another office job that requires sitting in front of a computer. This is because I am now an avid office chair dancer. I'm dancing right now. When Office Chair Dancing becomes an Olympic sport I am absolutely ready to represent.

Three.
I do not jaywalk. Ever. Even if there is no traffic at the lights. Even even on Swanston Street. This is because about nine years ago I crossed a road near some lights right into a car that had just turned the corner. I got a ride in an ambulance, a lovely scar on my left shoulder and a $1200 bill. I was fine. The bill was to fix the car. In my drug addled haze I did briefly consider a career as stunt performer.

Four.
...

Five.
...yeah I'm stuck...

Six.
Well, why should I be the one to do all the work?

Seven.
What do you want to know?

1. Put your preferred music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds!
4. via kesalemma and chrisbarnes

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Song to the Siren

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Interview 2 (The Kleptones - From Detroit To J.A.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Your Mother Should Know

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Aerodynamic Beats - Forget About the World - Gabrielle

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
The Cottage on the Beach

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Fox Intro

WHAT IS 2+2?
So Much For So Little

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Nowhere Man

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Act Naturally

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Fast Animals (Saint Saens' Le Carnaval des Animaux)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Ticket to Ride

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Baby's in Black

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Track 4 (by Supersonic from Chunky Move's Bonehead production (1997))

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Strange Land

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Piggies

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Elegant People

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Golden Slumbers

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Track 5 (as above)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Rush of Love

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Track 02 (DJ Shadow and Cut Chemist - Hard Sell)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Girl (You Chew My Mind Up)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
If I Know You

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Crazy Love, Vol. II

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Devil in Her Heart

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Song For Shelter

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Born Slippy

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
I Am the Walrus

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Piku

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Love Will Tear You Apart (She Wants Revenge vs. Joy Division vs. Bauhaus)

Clearly having every Beatles album on this computer gives them an unfair advantage.

If you saw me in the back of a police car, what would you think I had been arrested for?

(via dalekboy)

I've had a pretty ordinary day with a splitting headache for most of it which has severely curtailed actually getting anything done. My head has cleared this evening a bit, enough to remember that I was supposed to feed my mum's cats and put out the bins while she's away. Of course I don't remember this until after dark.

So I kick and curse myself all the way over there, but as I'm pulling into the drive I see a brush-tailed possum at the foot of one of the gumtrees. My mum lives in a really bushy area so that's not uncommon to see a bit of wildlife around. Mostly, though it's big, noisy smelly possums that breakdance on the roof at night. (It must be what they're doing, it makes so much noise.)

One of the cats runs out to meet me, clearly peeved at being forgotten and I stumble into the dark house, find the food and put it out.

But the cat isn't trying to trip me over at this point, or eat my hand off the way he did yesterday. I can hear him in the hall, batting at something. "A moth," I think, and switch on the hall light.

Nope. It's a little possum. A ring-tail, which if you are not aware, are one of the kewt genus of possums. So I grab the cat (harder than simply grabbing of course, this cat is focused) and throw him into the bathroom and shut the door. I sneak past the li'l cutie again in time to see her leap from under the hall table to the underneath of an old Singer sewing machine. (I say a and not the because there happen to be many, many sewing machines in the house.)

I get a tea-towel from the kitchen so as to not get my smell on the possum (at least, I know that's what you have to do with baby birds, and it seemed a safe precaution for both our sakes) and crouched next to her. She was pretty happy clinging to the metal curlicues of the table leg and had wriggled between some. She didn't seem to be in shock and wasn't injured. I put my hand gently behind her to coax her forward. I didn't want to have to grab and drag her out backwards. She came through the metal decorations willingly enough and then leapt straight at my chest, over my shoulder and sat on my back.

There was a possum sitting on my back.

She was very light, only the size of a coffee mug, if a mug had a long tail, ears and a woffly nose. Her little claws dug into the fabric of my hoodie.

I crouched there for a minute, not sure if she was going to jump off and make a dash for the darkened lounge room. But she didn't so I slowly backed towards the front door, bent completely over, and opened it.

We went through e-v-e-r s-o s-l-o-w-l-y and I began backing down the long flight of stairs that leads to the carport. No sudden moves.

About halfway down we were within reach of a medium-sized bottlebrush and Li'l Poss made a leap for it. She scrambled up the branches and began sniffing around the flowers.

Then I breathed out.

It was time to deal with the cat. Mum has a cat flap, but it's broken and needs a nail to hold it locked. Ever tried to find a nail at night in a house you haven't lived in for 12 years? Luckily I located a perfect subject fairly quickly in the laundry and went outside to secure the cat flap so the cats could get inside, but not out again. There's still one roaming around somewhere after all, but I know it's the one much less likely to chase anything.

Finally let the cat out of the bathroom, where it gives _me_ a reproachful look, and heads for the food. Hallelujah, job done.

No! I still have to put the bins out. I creep slowly down the front steps in case L'il Poss is still there, and sure enough...wait... she's bigger! and has grown two tails!

It was her mother, come to collect her from her evening out (sheesh, teenagers!) and I watched as she carried L.P. across to another tree and out along a long limb. So I dunno if L.P. thought I was a giant possum, or whether she just knew a form of transport when she saw it. It's not like I have fur or a tail, honest.

I took another look up after doing the bins just in time to see them disappear over the roof. Mum, I think you have a possum nest in the drainpipe on the chimney. Also, you might want to check your quilted bag under the hall table for possum -uh- presents.

And that was how Timmy saved Christmas.

Tragically I did not have a camera during the incident, but I can assure you that L'il Poss was even cuter than this, and this, and even this.