Rachel's Blog: You like me, right now, you like me!*

Sat, 04 Mar 2006

I was considering live-blogging the broadcast of the Oscars ceremony this year, but I honestly don't think I have the blogging stamina. Or the Oscars watching stamina for that matter. I haven't even watched it the last two years, mostly because I didn't see any of the nominated films. I'll do some kind of snarky wrap up at least. Probably not as funny-bitchy as Ken Levine, but he has all sorts of, you know, industry knowledge and professional comedy writing credits and stuff that I don't.

Here's my snark from 2003 - the last time I tuned in.

Random notes from the Oscar's telecast:
Steve Martin can always be counted on to be a white-wash of a host. So very inoffensive.
So what _does_ Margaret O'Brien look like nowadays?
John Travolta should stop dying his hair. 3D-animated Mickey Mouse is an insult.
How do I get to see these nominated animated and live-action short films?
Is the little laser on the Tatts machine going to damage my eyes if I stare at it too long?
Paul Simon would be a lot more interesting to watch if _he_ was eight months pregnant or had sixteen backing dancers.
Only two nominees for achievement in make-up? Slackers!
Sean Connery really can look good in a frilly shirt.
Gee, I haven't seen Noni in the audience yet...
Woo! Go Panavision!
Dedicating an Oscar to the whole of Mexico is a bit tricky. How are they going to work out the time-share?
Julianne Moore looks like a shy high school student who just got asked to the prom.
Forty-five seconds is not enough time for multiple winners to speak. Even if no one cares if the sound guy thanks his mum.
Hang on - Media Watch is on...
...OK I'm back. Only missed an hour, what could possibly have happened?
I think Nicole is wearing prosthetic eyebrows, she looks really angry.
So why is it in Hollywood that people try to stay as young looking as possible, for as long as possible, when it's the oldest and wrinkliest who get the most applause?
Take off the sunglasses Jack.
Margaret O'Brien just looks old. Fair enough.
Hey, they've brought back the Antz Pantz ad. Sick 'em Rex!
That Pianist actor looks really worried, and he's already won his Oscar.
Harrison Ford has bed hair.
That automatic height-detecting microphone is way cool, every school hall should have one.
Kirk and Michael, so cute.
It's over already? ...thank God.

*Sally Field, 1985 acceptance speech for Places in the Heart.